"All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if used as directed. Life's temporary for a reason. It gets boring after awhile. You should be inventing new drugs is what you should be doing! Newer, crazier drugs...and more holes, that's what you ladies need!"
January 1, 1970
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Doug_Stanhope