"What a wonder is a gun! What a versatile invention! First of all, when you've a gun-Everybody pays attention. When you think what must be done, Think of all that it can do: Remove a scoundrel, Unite a party, preserve the Union, Promote the sales of my book, Ensure my future, My niche in history, And then the world will see That I am not a man to overlook!" - Guiteau, "The Gun Song"