"A big man on a horse scared me out of my wits. He bellowed, "I'm General Genghis Kahn Schmitz. There's a war going on! And it's time that you knew Every lad in this land has his duty to do. We're marching to battle. We need you, my boy! We're about to attack. We're about to destroy The Perilous Poozer of Pompelmoose Pass! So get into line. You're a Private, First Class.""