"And so, Old Nick released His demons unto the world of man. And the World of Man fell before the demons, and his world became like the guttering candle flame. And God did nothing, for He was invisible and couldnae punch His way out of a paper fucking bag anyway. And so, the world of man became Old Nick's dominion. And his dominion was hell. How's that? [Jimmies: How's that?] Then, Old Nick did speak to His favored son, whose name was Jimmy Crystal. And He said unto Jimmy, "You are now Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal. And you shall be My Right Hand, which shall be strong. And you shall have Seven Fingers, and each Finger shall be a claw. And you shall offer Charity to the World of Man. And for this, you alone shall be My heir, and your Seven Fingers shall hold your crown!" How's that? [Jimmies: How's that?] I am Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal. Favored son of Old Nick. These are my Fingers. We travel the land. We search for souls to deliver to my Father. And we offer you... Charity. Jimmies. [Jimmies: Yes, sir?] Today's Charitable Act shall be... the Removal of the Shirt."