"Society wants women to be understood. To be moderate. We can’t be full human beings. Society cannot deal with our liminal complexity. From our early socialization, we are taught about virtue, being nice, being respectful and of course all this is tied to being palatable for men. On the other hand, men are taught how to want and get, to speak up, to be served, to desire and take and to decide things on their own. For instance, to date, for those women who decide to enter marriage and have children, the blunt of child care falls heavily on them. There are so many stories of women giving up on their careers and being “strong” because of their children or to keep the peace in marriage. Women’s suffering is romanticized and normalized as a part of our womanhood. For men, it is majorly not a consideration. Women are judged harshly for putting their careers first with questions like “upita ku school, ana akhala ndi ndani?” that are laced with guilt tripping and the assumption that a woman must remain the primary caregiver at home."