"And she sat at dinner, oh, mature in her immaturity, self-confident, indifferent and alone, and I sat for her, for her, for her I sat and I could not for one second not sit for her, I was in her, she contained me in her along with my mockery, her tastes, her tastes were decisive for me and I could please myself only insofar as I pleased her."
January 1, 1970
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Witold_Gombrowicz