"[Jonathan Irons addresses the UN General Assembly] I am honored to be the first CEO of a private corporation to become a member of the United Nations Security Council. Unfortunately, my appearance today has been clouded by a flurry of speculation that my company is developing a weapon of mass destruction which would be capable of targeting specific ethnic groups. [tries to calm delegates at the revelation] I want to address these allegations head on. Are we developing such a weapon? No, we are not [Assembly members applaud]... because we've already developed it. [Assembly members aghast] But with all due respect, the United Nations is a relic from a different time when nations were unique in their ability to solve the world's problems, but that just isn't the case anymore, primarily because you have you have outsourced the job to me. I have sent people to die in your wars. So I feel uniquely qualified to tell you, your wars don't work! [delegates get angry] Which is why my priorities have changed; from profits to policy, because politicians don't know how to solve problems, but I do. So let's be clear. I am here to solve the world's problems and I believe the world's problems begin [points fingers at a restive audience] with you."