"If thou didst feed on western plains of yore; Or waddle wide with flat and flabby feet Over some Cambrian mountain’s plashy moor; Or find in farmer’s yard a safe retreat From gypsy thieves, and foxes sly and fleet; If thy grey quills, by lawyer guided, trace Deeds big with ruin to some wretched race, Or love-sick poet’s sonnet, sad and sweet, Wailing the rigour of his lady fair; Or if, the drudge of housemaid’s daily toil, Cobwebs and dust thy pinions white besoil, Departed Goose! I neither know nor care. But this I know, that thou wert very fine, Season’d with sage and onions, and port wine."