"To love is to give freely, but not harmlessly. It is impossible to explain why its object is one human being and not another; nevertheless, its dynamics were clear to the ancients, who emphasized its strategic aspect. Giving to the lover does not solicit an exchange, but constitutes a challenge. The lover tends not to take something away from the beloved, but to possess them in a sense that, alongside its sexual significance, also has political and military connotations. Eroticism would be a very insipid and vacuous experience if the lover were not exposed to the danger of defeat. (p. 113)"