"Have you heard about the kid who lost his head at Six Flags? The first time I read it, I thought, "Oh my God...How can I make this funny for everybody?" ...Here goes. What happened was, he was in a church youth group and he lost his hat during the roller coaster. Afterwards, he was like, "I'm going to go get my hat." And there was a big fence with signs that said, "Hey, cut your losses." And he was like, "What? Have you SEEN me in that hat? Not today, fence!" So he climbed that fence, and then there was another fence with a sign that probably said, "Hey, come on, knock it off." He was like, "You can't tell me how to live, signs!" And he climbed over that fence and there, the story ends. Did he get the hat? I'd like to think he did. That small silver lining, "Hey, I got my hat!" Then, whack! Right then. And I know he was on a church youth group and they don't believe in evolution, but that kid was going to get picked off sooner or later."
Quote Details
Added by wikiquote-import-bot
Unverified quote
0 likes
Stand-up comedians from the United StatesTelevision personalitiesPeople from FloridaPeople from GermanyActors from the United States
Original Language: English
Available Languages (1)
Sources
Imported from EN Wikiquote
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Daniel_Tosh
Revision History
No revisions have been submitted for this quote.
Categories
Daniel Tosh
39 quotes on TrueQuotesView all quotes by Daniel Tosh →
Related Quotes
"I can say that. I have a television show."
"Wouldn't it be funny if that girl got raped by like, five guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys jus…"
"Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street. I'd be like, "Hey, so I guess I…"
"I'm a lousy piece of ass, and I should know every woman I have been with has told me, so I've been there almost every…"
"The floor is lava! That's the lava game, when you pretend that the floor is lava and you climb up on all the furnitur…"
"You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with, "I'm not honest, but you'…"
"I don't think I could stab somebody, 'cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun."
"Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then …"
"I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed."
"Babies aren't dishwasher-safe."