"Chip: What is it you want, oh great Couch-God?"

"Max: Hmm, my left butt cheek is asleep, but the other isn't...weird."

"Max: It's my turn to flashback. Be patient!"

"Max: To know her is to love her...to love her is to go quite bonkers."

"Tommy: If nothing else, you'll get a cult following of black-clad depressed kids."

"Emily: Oh Chip, I'm so sorry...I know you were very enamored with Naomi."

"Emily: Just for reference, this is is my happy face."

"Max: Of course I'll do fine. I'm worried about what tie I'm going to wear."

"Max: Whenever I hope women will change, they just end up disappearing."

"Willy: Of course you realize that you have to tell me all about how he is in bed?"