"Fuck you, you fucking fuckers."

"(after ramming a carrot through the back of a guy's head) Eat your vegetables."

"I was just remembering a limerick. "There once was a woman who was quite begat. She had three babies named Nat, Pat, …"

"Does anyone know what a Jimmy Cagney love scene is? It's when Cagney lets the good guy live. [lobby of henchmen laugh…"

"My God. Do we really suck, or is this guy really that good?"

"(upon seeing he ran over a robotic decoy of Oliver) What in the hell is that? Oh, my God, that is twisted. That sick …"

"(On a cell phone, while aiming a gun at Smith) I can't talk right now, honey. I'm right in the middle of something."

"[Reading a profile on Smith] National sports pistol champion at age 10. Recruited by the army. Then he disappeared. S…"

"The leader who stays in the rear, takes it in the rear. Besides, violence is one of the most fun things to watch."

"(after using a Walther PPK) What a piece of crap."