"The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters."

"Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work; I merely inflict myself upon the public."

"I never really had any aspirations to be an actor when I was young. I wanted to play the piano in a bar, to be the ol…"

"If I do decide one day to stop acting, I just hate the idea of people going: 'Oh, did you ever do anything else besid…"

"I don't really know how to act, I kind of wanted to somehow make it real, and one of the ways I've always thought mak…"

"It's got so that every time I walk into a restaurant, I get not only soup but an impersonation of Captain Bligh."

"I have a face like the behind of an elephant."

"All his tough talk is a blind, you know. He's a literate, gracious, kind man, with wonderful manners, and he speaks b…"

"They can't censor the gleam in my eye."

"I knew in a flash Gary had something I should never have. It is something pure and he doesn't know it's there. In tru…"