"What hours I spent of precious time, What pints of ink I used to waste, Attempting to secure a rhyme To suit the publ…"

"Guten Morgen, mon ami! Heute ist es schönes Wetter! Charmé de vous voir ici! Never saw you looking better!"

"Ich muss cherchez mon hôtel. What a charming Schwätzerei, sir! Lebe wohl! Adieu! Farewell! Vive le Congo! Hoch der Ka…"

"Billy, in one of his nice new sashes, Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes; Now, although the room grows chilly, I…"

"When Grandmamma fell off the boat, And couldn’t swim, and wouldn’t float, Maria just sat by and smiled - I almost cou…"

"Weep not for little Leonie, Abducted by a French Marquis! Though loss of honour was a wrench, Just think how it's imp…"

"O'er the rugged mountain's brow Clara threw the twins she nursed, And remarked, "I wonder now Which will reach the bo…"

"That morning, when my wife eloped With James, our chauffeur, how I moped! What tragedies in life there are! I'm dashe…"

"When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I'd known that he'd…"

"There's been an accident!" they said, "Your servant's cut in half; he's dead." "Indeed!" said Mr Jones, "and please G…"