"Cesar's Garden Trainer: [Talking to Cesar right before his big fight in Madison Square Garden against Velario] Cesar, listen up. These next 36 minutes is gonna' change the rest of your life. If you've ever listened, you'll listen now. You understand that? We've prepared for this. This guy is older than you. He's not as young as you. He can't stay twelve rounds. But one thing he CAN do is he can think. And he can set you up..."

"No one hits as hard as your best friend."

"Willie Garson - "Cappie" Caplan"

"Cylk Cozart - Rudy"

"Aida Turturro - Mad Greek Waitress"

"Lucy Liu - Lia"

"Clint: [about Molly] How can such a pretty girl have such an ugly swing."

"[to Roy] You're a head case. You always have been, always will be."

"Earl: [about Roy] The word normal and him don't often collide in the same sentence."

"Look, boss, I only got one rule. And that's never bet money that you don't have on a dog race with an ex-girlfriend who happens to be a stripper."

"I find him... mildly attractive when he's obnoxious and arrogant like this."

"[to Roy] You won't listen to me, will you? Even when I'm trying to help you, man. After all these years you think I'm full of shit?"

"David Simms: Can you people not see that I'm busy? I'm working. This is my office. Do I come to your office and ask for an autograph? I don't think so. Jesus. What an ugly dog."

"Well, what the hell? You ride her until she bucks you or don't ride at all."

"You know someone once said that golf and sex are the only two things you don't have to be good at to enjoy."

"I can always tell when someone's lying to himself. But I am quite susceptible and frequently wrong when that person lies to me!"

"TV Director: Another driving range pro, it's all we needed. It's heroes that I need. Not obscure driving range pros."

"Way I'm swinging today, nothing bugs me except insufficient applause."

"[to Boone, who doesn't want to wager against Roy's car] That's because you think of it as transportation, Boone. Think of it as bragging rights. Think of yourself sitting around the bar, crowing to your cronies about the Cadillac you won from me. They'll forget all about the Winnebago you lost to me."

"Why do men always insist on measuring their dicks?"

"[to Molly] "Fuck." "Shit." These are highly technical golf terms; You're using them on your first lesson. This is promising."

"Richard Lineback - Curt"

"Lou Myers - Clint"

"[to Molly] I'm going to qualify for the U.S. Open and kick your boyfriend's ass. Whatever you think of me, you should know he hates old people, children, and dogs."

"George Perez - Jose"