First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Glenne Headly - Angela Martello"
"Rob Brown - Bobby"
"Julianne Moore - Esther"
"Paul Ben-Victor - Priest (Voice)"
"Jeremy Luke - Danny"
"Tony Danza - Jon Martello, Sr."
"Brie Larson - Monica Martello"
"[as his computer chimes while turning on] Yeah. Not gonna lie. This sound - gets me hard as a fuckin' rock. But I don't like to go too fast right off the bat. Yeah, I'd rather work my way into it, nice and easy. So I start off with some stills. Then, once I'm gettin' into it, I start lookin' for a video. I never actually touch my cock til I find the right clip. Then, once I do, goodbye. For the next few minutes, all the bullshit fades away and the only thing in the world is those tits, dat ass, the blowjob... the cowboy, the doggie, the money shot and that's it. I don't gotta say anything, I don't gotta do anything. I just fuckin' lose myself. There's only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My boys. My girls. And my porn. I know, the last one sounds weird, but I'm just bein' honest. Nothin' else does it for me the same way, not even real pussy. And...why do you think my boys call me 'The Don'?""
"See? This is what I'm sayin; real pussy is good, but, I'm sorry, it's not as good as porn. Tits? Great. Ass? Great. Blowjob? Sure, it's fuckin' fantastic in person-if she'll do it. But in real life, if you wanna get head, you gotta give head. And I know, some guys love eating pussy, but the thing about those guys is THEY'RE FUCKIN' CRAZY! Don't get me wrong, I like a good pussy eating clip, but from down here, there's nothing good about this. And if she finally does decide to do you the big favor...she's in a fuckin' hurry. Now, when it comes to the actual fucking, first of all, condoms are terrible, they just are! But, you gotta wear one, 'cause, unlike porn, real pussy can kill you. Second of all, missionary is the worst position in all of fucking! The tits lie flat, you can't see her ass-you can't really touch her ass, 'cause she's lyin' on her back. They don't want to do it from behind, 'cause they wanna look at you. Basically, it's all me doin' all the work. Money shot? No, there is no real life Money shot! Real girls won't do that shit! You just cum through the fuckin' condom! So, you tell me: which looks better? This? [a clip of him having sex with a girl] Or THIS? [a clip of his porn]"
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession. Since last Sunday I had sexual relations out of wedlock two times. I also watched pornographic videos and masturbated seventeen times. For these, and all the sins in my life, I am sorry."
"Alright, I'll admit: there are some downsides. Like, there's some times you find a great clip with a hot chick, and right as you're startin' to cum, it shows the guy. It's not much of a fault, really, but it still sucks, so... also, now adays, you got so much to choose from, so, finding the right clip takes a lot of time. And my time is precious to me. Yeah, I got shit to do, so...and, every once in a while, you find a clip that's so good, it's fuckin' depressing. You think to yourself, "why can't real pussy be like THIS?" And, I smash new girls, all the fuckin' time, always an 8, or better, and it's STILL never this good! What am I doin' wrong? Maybe it's time to try somethin' new, so..."
"I don't watch too many movies. I used to watch them a lot when I was little kid, before I could get my hand on any porn. 'Cause back then, if I wanted to see a really hot girl, my best bet was to watch a movie. Now, I don't really see the point. I dunno, I must be missin' out on somethin', because most people...eat that shit up. The pretty woman, the pretty man, love at first sight, the first kiss, the break-up, the make-up, the expensive wedding, and then they ride off into the sunset. And everyone knows it's fake, but they watch it like it's real, fuckin' life!"
"I'm in love with Barbara. I am. And tonight, I FINALLY got to fuck her. But I'm sorry to say, it's STILL not as good as porn. Tits-best ever. Ass-best ever. Blowjob-good luck. A girl that hot- she don't need to give head. For her, she just wants to go from kissing, to naked kissing, to fucking, you know, "making love." And, by "making love," I mean, "missionary fucking." No doggy, no cowboy..."
"This fuckin' lady! Now I don't usually like it when a girl looks me right in the eye, and this girl does that a lot. But I don't know what it is about her, when she does it, I don't mind. I just look right back at her, and pretty soon, I'm hard as a fuckin' rock. It's like she knows what I'm thinkin', or I know what she's thinkin'. I don't know, it's a two-way thing. Fuckin' love it! And I don't mean love like, oh I love her or wanna marry her, definitely not thinkin' about all that shit. And she's not either... she can't. I guess I just mean love like, you know like... we're making love. And while we're doing it, all the bullshit does fade away, and it's just me and her right there, and yeah I do lose myself in her. And I can tell she's losing herself in me. And we're just fuckin'... lost together."
"[dry-humping Jon] 'Cause I don't know what that would mean, you know?... I don't wanna do anything unless it means something... Don't you think it's always better when it means something?...You'd be so sexy in a real job... so what'd ya say? You, me and our friends go out sometime?... And our families meet... huh, yeah?... And you take one class for me, baby? One little class? Huh? Yeah? Yeah?... and after that, are you gonna fuck me in my tight ass, baby? Please?...and maybe come in my face?... Huh, Jon? You wanna come at my face?... then come on baby, cum for me! Cum, cum, cum..."
"If you wanna lose yourself, you have to lose yourself to another person. And she has to lose herself to you. It's a two-way thing."
"Everyone loves a happy ending."
"There's more to life than a happy ending."
"Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Jon "Don Jon" Martello, Jr."
"Scarlett Johansson - Barbara Sugarman"
"Leonard L. Thomas - Deke Woods"
"Jeff Pope - Batson"
"Clare Grant - Kell"
"Michael Raymond-James - Gill Morton"
"I remember my first time, it was out behind my uncle's barn with my second cousin. She was two tons if she weighed a pound, I could have done better for myself."
"I'm cookin' steaks fah dinnah. I expect you to stay."
"God put you in my path and I aim to cure you of your wicked ways."
"Cain slew Abel, slew him out of envy. God put his mark on Cain for his sins, is that what you want Deke? Huh? Is that what you come here for? I'll do it for you, all you got to do is say it again... Say you love me. [pause] SAY YOU LOVE ME NIGGA!"
"Why you old men gotta talk so much? You gotta talk yourself into fucking me? Like little boys. It's okay. I'm grown, I know. We can go slow. [pause] You gonna give me another bath?"
"I think... I think we're fucked up. I know I am. But that don't mean what I feel ain't real, that I can't love somebody. And I know what I done is real real bad, but um... [pause] So if you want to quit on me I understand. But please don't."
"Ima tell you something and it's just gonna be between you and me. I think folks carry on about heaven too much, like it's some kind of all you can eat buffet up in the clouds and folks just do as they told so they can eat what they want behind some pearly gates. There's sinning in my heart, there's evil in the world but when I got no one, I talk to God. I ask for strength, I ask for forgiveness. Not peace at the end of my days when I got no more life to live or no more good to do but today, right now... What's your heaven?"
"To save his soul he must save hers."
"Everything is hotter down south."
"Christina Ricci - Rae Doole"
"Samuel L. Jackson - Larazus Redd"
"Justin Timberlake - Ronnie Morgan"
"John Cothran, Jr. - R.L."
"S. Epatha Merkerson - Angela"
"David Banner - Tehronne"
"Kim Richards - Sandy Doole"
"Son House (archive footage) - Himself"
"Neimus K. Williams - Lincoln James"
"Adriane Lenox - Rose Woods"
"Actually, I wasn't able to raise enough money to go to Paris."
"How is this constructive?"
"I promise, if you don't tell me, it's much better."
"- I love you. - I know, just please go take a shower."
"I hoped that being completely honest would bring us together but I seriously miscalculated."
"After a while, just talking to them was no longer enough."
"I had this prostitute fetish."