family-guy

"Wait, I can't hit you. You're a girl."

"Unga Bunga! (Original)"

"Toast House. (Cutaway)"

"Yay, double wishes! One. Two. (Flashback)"

"What's all that noise? Aw, do you want a hug from your big sister? OW!!! (Original)"

"Great! The string broke again. Hey there, tiny hands. (Flashback)"

"You've earned yourself a time out young man! Now you stay here until you can behave! (Original)"

"Happy Birthday, Stewie. And here's your equal attention cake, Peter. (Flashback)"

"Look, Stewie, I know you're angry about last night, but you're talking about erasing your existence. It's crazy. [Stewie: Whose ringtone is "Barracuda"?] Oh, God, that's Frumpy Ann. Frumpy Ann does everything. Look, I've gotta get this call, but don’t do anything stupid! Yo, girl, how you livin'?"

"My God, I've done it, Rupert! They've broken up! Look, it's working! I’m fading away! Well Rupert, this means you and I will never have met. So, I've gotta tell you one thing. You know that song I wrote to you on Valentine's Day, it's an Eric Carmen song, I've completely ripped it off. Now I feel better."

"YOU BASTARD, YOU'LL BURN IN HELL!!!"

"Peter, I want to apologize. I did behave inappropriately. It's just that since my beloved Walter died, you're the first man who's paid any attention to me, and I guess I took advantage of that."

"Here's your pie. May I use your bathroom?"

"And now, Mr. Griffin... I want that film!"

"Alright you little bitch, it's time to end this thing!"

"What the hell?! I killed you!"

"Peter...you're a fat, stinking, drunk!"

"Damn! Play me some filler, Johnny!"

"Peter, being here with your lovely family, your wonderful wife and your funny talking dog... Well... I'm impressed! In fact, starting Monday, I would like to promote you to head of toy development!"

"Well, Rupert seems to like my humping. [Stewie: What did you say?] Rupert. Humped him for 2 hours yesterday. He just laid there and took it. [Stewie: Did he?] Yeah. Now every time you're sleeping with him, he's gonna be thinking of me."

"Shoot... me..."

"Eh... What's up, Doc... OW! OH! OH! AGH! OH GOD! OH GOD! AHHHHHHH!"

"[Stewie: Hello, Mother.] Stewie?! What the hell are you...?! How'd you get here?! [Stewie: Oh, there's a very simple answer to that. You drove me here, Lois! With all the indignities, I've been forced to suffer day in and day out under your matriarchal tyranny!] What are you...?! What are you doing with the gun?! [Stewie: Something I should've done a very long time ago!]"

"Hey Griffins, just checking in... OWWWWWWWW! [Lois: OH MY GOD!!!] [Peter: HOLY CRAP!!!] [Cleveland falls to the floor with blood on the wall and dies] [Brian: Stewie, you've killed him! He's dead!] [Lois: OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! What are we gonna do?! Oh, poor Cleveland!] [Peter: Don't worry Lois, he's in heaven now.]"

"Go ahead, Lois, do it, shoot me! Shoot your little baby, Stewie! [Lois: I can't do it! You're a terrible evil child, but you're still my baby and I would never hurt you.] Well, that works out perfectly, because I CAN HURT YOU! Say hi to Cleveland for me... Oh, and Mr. Weed."

"So, you got a tank. Big whoop. Wanna fight about it?"

"Beam me up... God!"

"AUGHHHH!! MY LEGS! NOW I'LL HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN A WHEELCHAIR!!"

"Not with nuclear arms! You can't hug your children with nuclear arms..."

"But... you're a baby."

"NO, YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM!"

"Sure! All I have to do is make a quick phone call."

"What the hell is this?"

"DAMN IT!!! WILL YOU TWO JUST GET IN THE FUCKING TIME MACHINE?!"

"Did the... did the cork hit me?!"

"I didn't kill anybody!"

"Oh, my God!"

"No! No, it's not true, I would never kill anybody, never! And I won't say another word until I talk to my lawyer because- why is he wearing shorts?"

"Hey, what are you doing up here? Wait a minute. What the hell is this? Oh, my God. It's you! The man or woman who has been killing everybody! Stay back! Stay back!"

"Well, it's a shame that you have to die, Lois. But look on the bright side, you’ll be the story on the 6:00pm news. You know, unless a local cat does something funny. [Lois: Diane please, please don’t do this! I won't tell anybody, I swear to God!] That's right, you won't. Good bye, Lois."

"This isn't about me, is it?"

"Damn! Lost focus, life over!"

"You son of a...."

"YOU DICK!!!!!"

"You've given me a wonderful life. I love you all."

"Georgette, I'm coming home!"

"[Past Brian: Wow, Stewie, thank you for saving my life. A lot of other people would've gotten a different dog and moved on.] Oh, we would never do something like that. [Past Brian: Stewie, what's happening to you?!] I think, my timeline is being erased. The timeline where you died no longer exists. Merry Christmas, Brian."

"Where? (Original)"

"I can't! The lemonade tricked me and got away! (Flashback)"

"Alex Borstein - Lois Griffin, Loretta Brown"