"[about to kill Beavis and Butt-head when he realized he mistook them for hitmen after he found them in the desert] Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this. Any last words before I kill you?"

"[about to kill Beavis and Butt-head when he realized he mistook them for hitmen after he found them in the desert] I'm gonna blow you both to Hell, that's what I'm gonna do!"

"10 Grand. Oh, that Cheap-Ass."

"[as his Cornholio persona] Are you threatening me? — I am Cornholio!"

"I am the great Cornholio! — I'm a gringo! — I have no bunghole."

"I am Cornholio! — You will cooperate with my bunghole! — For there is but one bunghole: the almighty bunghole."

"Hey Butt-head, this book is pretty cool. There's a naked chick, a talking snake, and this dude wears a leaf over his schlong."

"Hey, baby. I noticed you have braces. I have braces, too."

"This is the coolest thing I have ever seen."

"The sun sucks."

"Mike Judge—Beavis / Butt-head / Thomas T. "Tom" Anderson / Principal McVicker / David Van Driessen"

"Demi Moore—Dallas Grimes"

"Bruce Willis—Muddy Grimes"

"Robert Stack—ATF Agent Flemming"

"Cloris Leachman—Martha (Old Lady)"

"Richard Linklater—Tour bus driver"

"Dale Reeves—President Bill Clinton"

"Greg Kinnear—ATF Agent Bork (uncredited)"

"David Letterman and Tony Darling—Mötley Crüe roadies"

"Kristofor Brown—Man on plane / Man in confession booth / Old guy / Jim"

"Eric Bogosian—Old Faithful ranger / White House press secretary / Strategic Air Command lieutenant"

"Jacqueline Barba—Agent Hurly"

"Pamela Blair—Flight attendant / White House tour guide"

"You want to know what it is about you that really kicks my ass, Harris?"

"Don't you get it? They're real. When they touch someone, they feel it. When they taste something, they REALLY taste it. And when they are... With a man! Woo!"

"You know, sweetheart, you look good in flesh. It's almost a shame I gotta take you back. You are going back, you know?"

"Let me tell you something about over there. It hurts over there. It's lonely over there. It's a war over there. They got 8 million ways for you to die on and they're all permanent. This is real for me, this with you. If I want to stay with you, I gotta go back."

"You've had enough of me? You've had enough of me, you piece of shit? You screwed us all for a piece of ass? And you've had enough of me? Where is she? It's the oldest law in Cool World. I've never had to enforce it. You cross that line, I'll slap you around and make you piss like a puppy."

"You do nothing, man. This place exists with or without you. You believe me, right? I'm not one of your creations."

"There are two different worlds: The Real World and the Wacky, Animated World. Only one of them will survive."

"Holli Would if she could ...and she will."

"Gabriel Byrne as Jack Deebs, the cartoonist seemingly responsible for the creation of Cool World."

"Brad Pitt as Detective Frank Harris, a detective for the Cool World Police Department who is bent on catching Holli. Brad Pitt also provides Frank's voice in doodle form."

"Deirdre O'Connell as Isabelle Malley"

"Frank Sinatra, Jr. as Himself"