Romancing the Stone

"One hell of a morning has turned into a bitch of a day!"

"What did you do, wake up this morning and say, "Today, I'm going to ruin a man's life"?"

"Goddamn it, I knew I should've listened to my mother. I could've been a cosmetic surgeon, five hundred thou a year, up to my neck in tits and ass."

"[to Jack] Oh, oh I'm the creep, huh? Well at least I'm honest: I'm stealing this stone. I'm not trying to romance it out from under her."

"How will you die, Joan Wilder? Slow, like... a snail? Or fast, like a shooting star?"

"Crocodiles shed tears when they eat their prey. You have heard of these tears I am sure. But have you seen them?"

"They know nothing. They are peasants. Another bus will come along. There are schedules to be kept, even in Columbia."

"Michael Douglas - Jack T. Colton"

"Kathleen Turner - Joan Wilder"

"Danny DeVito - Ralph"

"Zack Norman - Ira"

"Alfonso Arau - Juan - "The Bellmaker""

"Manuel Ojeda - Colonel Zolo"

"Holland Taylor - Gloria Horne"

"Mary Ellen Trainor - Elaine Wilder"