"Look at this: Barry Manilow, Debbie Boone, Paul Anka in Vegas. This guy deserved to be shot."

"Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? If you're unhappy, drink. Get laid. See a shrink like normal people."

"Eight years I went to law school. Three times I took the bar. I finally get a client and my client is a lunatic."

"You can have the house, the furniture. I don't want anything. Except Scarlett. I want the fucking dog."

"The Notoriously Hilarious Comedy!"

"Penelope Ann Miller - Betty Lou Perkins"

"Julianne Moore - Elinor"

"Alfre Woodard - Ann Orkin"

"Cathy Moriarty - Reba"

"William Forsythe - Beaudeen"