"Of course, I reserve the right to make wholly stupid changes to Perl if I think they improve the language."

"We question most of the mantras around here periodically, in case you hadn't noticed."

"So far we've managed to avoid turning Perl into APL."

"I'd put my money where my mouth is, but my mouth keeps moving."

"Call me bored, but don't call me boring."

"I think $[ is more like a coelacanth than a mastadon."

"I don't believe I've ever cuddled my elses."

"If you write something wrong enough, I'll be glad to make up a new witticism just for you."

"They can always run stderr through uniq."

"That could certainly be done, but I don't want to fall into the Forth trap, where every running Forth implementation …"