"Joel Moore - J.P."

"That's sweet. Let's see... You're my, uh... I dunno, three-thousand something."

"[To JP as he passes by] Hey look, it's Bono's brother!"

"[Mimicking J.P.] My name is JP. I am a robot. I like robots. I have a robot vagina."

"Let's do it. The levels, I mean, not sex."

"[to children sitting at wedding reception table] So, you can't kill the demon at the end of level six? Do you have th…"

"Oh! Oh! Oh my God! I'm sorry, I can't stop cumming, I'm sorry! Oh-ho-ho, it feels so good!"

"Hey JP, that's a great outfit. How much do clothes cost in the Matrix?"

"My grandma drank all my pot."

"I'll give you my grandson's number, he's gay too."