"I don't bother with drugs myself 'cause I'm at that age now; I don't need to. If I want a rush, I just get out of a c…"

"But you see, you measure what a good time you had by how much it fucks you up; you go out tonight, get ripped, get sh…"

"You see the button with the picture of the guy with the plate, and you push it, AND HE ARRIVES WITH A SANDWICH! ...An…"

"People do... need... things... that are bad for them. They do. Stimulants and so on. They always have. Every so often…"

"EGGS! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!"

"Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that,…"

"I Know. I Know! Let's Go Potholing! In Croatia!" "Fine. I know a guy who can give us a lift... Me!"

"There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There’s the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, …"

"It turns you into two people: one of you's very nice, you'll go up to total strangers and say, "Come in, come in, sit…"

"It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette... unless you're actually a doctor working at an …"