Dan Quayle

"Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is, and how, what a challenge it is, because in 1988 the question is whether we're going forward to tomorrow or whether we're going to go past to the back! ... That's a Hoosierism. You've got to get used to that!"

"Bobby Knight told me this: "There is nothing that a good defense—cannot beat a better offense." In other words a good offense wins."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. [on followup] No, not our nation's, but in World War II. I mean, we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century, but in this century's history."

"It is not just age; it's accomplishments, it's experience. I have far more experience than many others that sought the office of vice president of this country. I have as much experience in the Congress as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the presidency. I will be prepared to deal with the people in the Bush administration, if that unfortunate event would ever occur."

"In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get the future."

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

"You all look like happy campers to me. Happy campers you are, happy campers you have been, and, as far as I am concerned, happy campers you will always be."

"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here."

"When you take the UNCF model that, what a waste it is to lose one's mind, or not to have a mind is being very wasteful, how true that is."

"The other day [the President] said, I know you've had some rough times, and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility. Would you like a puppy?"

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend towards more freedom and democracy, but that could change."

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit. ... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"This is what I say about the scorn of the media elite: I wear their scorn as a badge of honor."

"You’re close, but you left a little something off. The 'e' on the end."

"He went to the finest of private schools, and I am a public school graduate. Given the poor state of public schools it is obvious why everybody makes all those jokes about me."

"I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L. A. My answer has been direct and simple. Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame. Yes, I can understand how people were shocked and outraged by the verdict in the Rodney King trial. But there is simply no excuse for the mayhem that followed."

"Our policies must be premised on, and must reinforce, values such as family, hard work, integrity and personal responsibility."

"Bearing babies irresponsibly is simply wrong. We must be unequivocal about this. It doesn't help matters when primetime TV has Murphy Brown — a character who supposedly epitomizes today's intelligent, highly paid, professional woman — mocking the importance of fathers, by bearing a child alone, and calling it just another "lifestyle choice.""

"I had a good political career, and I have a good business career. I didn't get the brass ring, but I did very well."

"I believe that I've made good judgments in the past, and I think I've made good judgments in the future."

"We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to move forward."

"We understand the importance of having the bondage between the parent and the child."

"I made a misstatement and I stand by all my misstatements."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"I was known as the chief graverobber of my state."

"This is where the Continental Congress met over two hundred years ago during the American Revolution. So, Lancaster was actually the capital of our nation for one day in 1977."

"I also try to discipline myself when I get into a situation ... and I'm trying to think of an answer, instead of being verbose, which is a tendency that I have, to be concise. Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

"If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"What we have here is clear-cut evidence that illegitimacy—something I've always said we should talk about in terms of not having it—leads to drug abuse."

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

"My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will never surrender to what is right."

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Vice President, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago."

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

"Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"The best thing about the Middle East is that is keeps the Far East and Near East from encroaching on each other."

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

"He's a very different man than the intellectual midget that has been portrayed in much of the media.... I think he's going to make an excellent Vice President, and I believe that he's going to be a popular Vice President just as soon as the people of this country see him as he is."

"Dan Quayle is all three! All three! Stupid, full of shit, and fucking nuts! And where did he get that wife of his? Have you taken a good look at that Marilyn Quayle? Where did he get her, at a Halloween party or something? She looks like Prince Charles, for Christ's sake!"

"Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."

"These essays, then, come from New York: the real and imagined city where feminist sexual liberationists, rootless cosmopolitan Jews, not-nice girls/boys/others, loudmouth exiles of all colors are an integral and conspicuous part of the landscape; the pariah community Dan Quayle lambasted as a failed welfare state shortly before making his inspired leap from Murphy Brown's baby to L.A. lawlessness"

"Admit it-the world is mighty wacky. Dan Quayle is a heartbeat away from bravely leading us into the New World Order..."