"[On a videotaped message to his ex-wife] If you're watching this, Jill, I'm long gone from this world. You are my heart. You always have been. You always will be. I'm not going to try to explain my actions of late. Suffice it to say that I find it difficult to forgive myself for what happened at the clinic. I permitted, indeed, encouraged your decisions regarding the people there. I saw danger and I should have acted sooner. I'm leaving you a box, today and its contents are of grave importance. Even though you and I don't always see everything eye to eye, I deeply believe in you and I believe that you will know what to do with these materials."