"That was yesterday. Today, you're a mutilated freak. I'm a show dog. These are your friends now. You can all get together and lick each other's nothingness."

"[Rated G Version; his last words when he discovered he's next to be neutered by his owners.] ???"

"[Rated PG Version; his last words when he discovered he's next to be neutered by his owners.] ???"

"[Rated G Version; realized he's goin' to be neutered] Not yet."

"Aaron LaPlante - Luther"

"Oh, (Bleep). I recognize that expression anywhere. Don't say anything."

"[Rated PG-13 Version] Oh, rats! I recognize that expression anywhere. Don't say anything."

"[Rated PG-13 Version; realized he's goin' to be neutered] Not good."

"Selma Blair as Cassie"

"John C. McGinle as Johnny the Fox"

"Arden Myrin as Lucy"

"[After the alligator boy screams] That be a cry laden with pain and sorrow"

"[As he has raw sex with Jilly Miranda] Jack and Jilly went up the hilly to fetch a pale of water!"

"Jeremy Piven as Scawldy"

"Come as you are"

"George Spielvogel III as Boneman"

"Matthew Davis as Booty"

"Stephen Shellen as Clark Hayes"

"Madeline Parquette as Pilot's Mom"

"Congratulations you just became the Sir Edmund Hillary of assholes. You climbed the highest mountain, Pilot. There's five big ones."

"A field... I need a field... A field in which to frolic!"

"I like it... Hit the road, flee for your life, meet a doll who's got "once and a lifetime girl of my dreams and reason to believe" written all over her like so much graffiti. It could only happen to the god of fuck."

"[Walks up to Pilot] You the boyfriend? You like alligator dick? [Touches Pilot's lips] Like to suck it?"