First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"[To Richard Nixon] You kicked Checkers, you're prejudiced, and you have a potty mouth!"
"[Shouting, to Arlene] You can't let Dick control your life!"
"It's called incest, Arlene, and it's against the law."
"War is not healthy for children and other living things. [quoting a popular anti-Vietnam War protest slogan, originally created by poster artist Lorraine Schneider]"
"We have a very important school report on turquoise jewelry due in two days, and we can't find any books on it, and the President's having us followed. It's too much pressure."
"I love Dick!"
"[Being followed by the President's 'plumbers'] Dick frightens me."
"[After seeing Nixon's "I am not a crook" speech immediately after a threatening call] He's trying to drive me insane!"
"Checkers - shut up! Or I'll feed you to the Chinese!"
"I've got a way with young people. They trust me."
"You don't mess with the big boys!!"
"What about that list from CREEP? How could you let your dog eat it?! [Hysterical] You're ruining my life!!!"
"Dick is going down, man!"
"Excuse me, Mr. President. I was not informed that you were in the middle of... what the hell ARE you in the middle of?"
"It's alright, gentlemen. I'm familiar with these two young ladies. Well, not "familiar", familiar, obviously. I mean, I know them. We discussed foreign policy. [A secret service agent rolls his eyes knowingly] Don't you give me that look!"
"I'll take responsibility here. I'll be the only person in this administration who's willing to take responsibility for anything."
"Bob Haldeman: I have met yams with more going on upstairs than these two."
"Bob Haldeman: You wanna complain about Vietnam? Talk to Johnson!"
"Mrs. Spinnler: Every lie is another brick in the pathway to hell."
"G. Gordon Liddy: [Surprised by Betsy and Arlene in the Watergate stairwell] Children! Running around, all hours of the night! When you kids grow up, you'll be living in the Soviet Union of America!"
"Chip: [After sticking himself with an election pin] Figures that the pain in my ass is Nixon, the fascist."
"Larry: Whatever she's on, I didn't give it to her."
"He was tricky. They were better."
"The unmaking of the president"
"Kirsten Dunst - Betsy Jobs"
"Michelle Williams - Arlene Lorenzo"
"Dan Hedaya - President Richard M. Nixon ('Dick')"
"Will Ferrell - Bob Woodward"
"Bruce McCulloch - Carl Bernstein"
"Teri Garr - Helen Lorenzo"
"Dave Foley - Bob Haldeman"
"Jim Breuer - John Dean"
"Ana Gasteyer - Rose Mary Woods"
"Harry Shearer - G. Gordon Liddy"
"Saul Rubinek - Henry Kissinger"