Pokey the Penguin

"THE GLUE IS POURING OUT IN AN AMAZING DISPLAY OF ADHESION - POKEY, "Pokey and the glue""

"THE UN? HA! I SPIT ON THE UN! --Pokey, “Pokey and the Moon-Cheese”"

"“WITH A FEW SMALL MODIFICATIONS, ANY CANOE CAN TRAVEL THROUGH TIME!!!” --Pokey, “Pokey in Ancient Scotland”"

"“I DO NOT LIKE THE HAT!!!” -- Pokey, “The Devil”"

"“BEFORE WE GO TO THE RESTAURANT I MUST ENCASE YOU IN CARBONITE!!! (Throws frozen date into ocean) NOW WHO IS GOING TO THE RESTAURANT!!!” --Pokey, “Pokey Goes to Hawaii”"

"“IT IS ORDINARY DUST! NO SALE” --Pokey, “Hola”"

"(After killing Archangel Michael) “LET ME DO IT I AM A GOOD ARCHANGEL! I ALREADY HAVE THE WINGS AND THE GUN! JUST GIVE ME THE WHISKEY!!!” --Pokey, “Pokey the Archangel”"

"“MY NAME IS POKEY THE PENGUIN I LOVE CHESS!! IT IS LIKE BALLET ONLY WITH MORE EXPLOSIONS!” --Pokey, “All Positions Occupied”"

"“ZIING! THE EXTRA “I” MEANS EXTRA ZING!” --Pokey, “The Extra 'I'”"

"“THE SECRET IS: RUSSIANS KEEP THEIR MIDGETS IN CAGES!” --Pokey, “Po Russky""

"“HE HAD TWO EYES BURNING LIKE COAL-EMBERS, SUNK INTO A GNARLED TREE-TRUNK OF A FACE! HE WAS MORE BURNING TREE THAN MAN!” --Pokey, “I Will Never Forget His Face”"

"“NO ONE TAKES FIRST PASSAGE OVER POKEY!” --Pokey “Pokey and the Gold Chains”"

"“NOTHING EJECTS A TEAR FROM MY FACE SO FORCEFULLY AS A SUNRISE!” --Pokey “Pokey and the Sunrise”"

""I TOLD EVERYONE WE SHOULD HAVE A WITCH-HUNT, BUT THEY WANTED TO HAVE A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED BOOK BURNING INSTEAD!" --Pokey, “Pokey was Correct”"

"HOORJ!" --Pokey, "Pokey and Tommy the Toaster"

"YOU SEEM TENSE! WHY NOT RELAX WITH A NICE CIGARETTE? WELCOME TO FLAVOR COUNTRY!" --Pokey, "Chicken Delicious is a Bad Influence"

"NOTHING RIDES YOU LIKE A GOOD PAIR OF HOT PANTS!" --Pokey, "Pokey Has Hot Pants"

"“IN THIS MANNER YOU HAVE RETRIEVED YOUR BRAINPAN POKEY!” --Small Child, “Pokey is Roots”"

"“I KNEW WE SHOULDN'T HAVE KEPT THE PILLOW WAREHOUSE RIGHT NEXT TO THE PORN FACTORY!!!” --Small Child, “Hello Sexy World”"

"“I FED HIM A STRICT DIET OF GASOLINE AND IRON FILLINGS! HE'S AS STRONG AS AN OX AND FIVE TIMES SMARTER” --Small Child, “Pokey and the Hover-Chair”"

"“BUT POKEY YOU FOUND THAT BIBLE IN A CRACKERJACK BOX!!! IT HAS A PIRATE ON THE FRONT!!!!” --Small Child, “St. Bluebeard (Biblical Proportions)”"

"“POKEY WHAT FINERY!!!” --Small Child, “Friend, Can You Spare Some Money?”"

"“GHOST MONEY HAS A VERY HIGH EXCHANGE RATE!!” --Mr. Nutty, “Pokey is Solid”"

"“DID ANYONE REMEMBER TO REMOVE HIS WALLET?”(At Pokey's funeral) –Mr. Nutty, “Pokey Dies”"

"“JOHN LOCKE! FANCY YOUR ESCAPING FROM SATAN'S GNASHING TEETH AND ENDING UP HERE!” --Mr. Nutty, “The Root of Safety”"

"“I KEEP ALL MY RECORDS IN THIS LOAF OF BREAD, FOR REASONS I NO LONGER REMEMBER!!” --Mr. Nutty, “Mr. Nutty's Position”"

"“THE FIRST LAW OF PHYSICS STATES THAT ROCKETS WILL ALWAYS FLY STRAIGHT UP INTO THE AIR!!!!!” --Mr. Nutty, “Mr. Nutty and the Rocket”"

"I AM RAPPING ABOUT WORLD HISTORY!" -Skeptopotamus, "Skeptopotamus and World History"

"“I AM DESIROUS OF DELICIOUS CHEESE” --Skeptopotamus, “The Sadness at the End of Days”"

"“LIKE THE TWO PRONGS OF MY DINNER FORK YOU STEAL THE HEART AND POSSESSIONS” --Skeptopotamus, “Pokey Objects”"

"“I HAVE DOMINION OVER YOU! YOU ARE MY SLAVES” --Skeptopotamus, “ Skeptopotamus' Secrets of Vitality”"

"“DESOLATION MOUNTAIN IS MADE OF POTATO FLAKES!!!” --Headcheese, “Mambo”"

"POKEY TODAY I AM ATTENDING SCHOOL CHICAGO-STYLE. IT MEANS, TO DO SOMETHING WITHOUT YOUR PANTS ON POKEY!!!!" --Headcheese, "Chicago-Style"

"“IF DEMOCRACY FAILS, YOU CAN COUNT ON STALIN!” --Gustavo, “You Can Count on Stalin”"

"“I AM MASTERING THE POSSIBILITIES” --The Devil, “The Devil”"

"“WE ARE TO ENGAGE IN FISTICUFFS IN THIS LAND OF ELVES AND HAPPINESS!” --The Devil, “Pokey and the Bump on the Noggin”"

"“HERE ON RUM ISLAND WE DO NOT BELIEVE IN RUM!” --Penguin, “Welcome to Rum Island”"

"“IF STROKING THE SACRED TEXT IS A SIN THEN MAY I NEVER BE BLESSED POKEY” --Penguin, “The Anatomicon”"

"“THUSLY THE PANTS COME OFF AND THE TEST SCORES RISE!” --The Principle, “Chicago-Style”"

"“OUR STEEPLE IS ROCKET-SHAPED TO TAKE US TO THE MOON! WHERE GOD LIVES!!” --Robot Minister, “Pokey and the Robot Church”"

""HURRY UP OLD BEAN! FETCH MY KEYS AND DRIVING CAP POST-HASTE!" -Chicken Delicious, "Let Us Meet Chicken Delicious" (This may have been said by either Pokey or Chicken Delicious; the comic is ambiguous)"

"“POKEY THESE ARE PLUMS! I WANTED ORANGES!” --Small Child"

"“THAT IS THE PRICE OF LOVE” --Pokey, “The Price of Love”"

"“IT IS WEDNESDAY POKEY!!!!!!!” --Small Child"

"“WRONG!!!! VIOLATORS MUST BE PROSECUTED!!!” --Pokey, “Happy Candy Day”"

"“I AM ENDING YOUR LIFE BOSS!!” --Pokey"

"“YOU THERE! GET TO WORK! I DO NOT FUND YOUR NUMBSKULLERY!” --Jewish Carpenter, “Pokey and the Jewish Carpenter”"

"“AND THESE ARE THINGS WE WOULD NOT DIE FOR POKEY!! LEAD, CANS OF PAINT, WAX--” --Small Child"

"“WAX!! SON OF A—I HAVE TO CHANGE MY LIST!!” --Pokey, “I Have to Change My List”"

"“POKEY ARE YOU DRUNK ON LOVE?????” --Small Child"