"I'm not an astronaut, I'm an American."

"[discovering a barn full of marijuana] Great mother of ganja!"

"You guys, check out this map. It looks like Billy left us a treasure map."

"Wow, this song is so uncool."

"No worries, no responsibilities, just living in the moment."

"[Billy's Italian girlfriend rubs herself on his casket] Billy's dead and he still has a better chance of getting laid…"

"[While high on marijuana, after dodging a bullet] Whoa... Matrix."

"[After finding Dan, Jerry and Tom in their boxers] Freeze you perverts!"

"[after giving the nearly naked guys clothes] I'd get dressed faster if I were you 'cause I've been alone in this cabi…"

"It was like her eyes were trying to escape her head."