"Cow Punchers solve their problems with their fist, whether it's shaking them at a disagreeable feller in a disreputab…"

"When you were a child, you wanted to walk so badly. You finally have."

"Well heck, I say all kinds o'things! F'r'instance: Dagnab machines, can't trust em no more'n a double-crossin' so-an'…"

"After you're done reading it, you donate it to a local orphanage. Soon those orphans will be able to make their escap…"

"A wave of nausea hits you as you slide the heavy lid of the chest. Inside there is a hat. It looks... evil. And not i…"

"What's new is a profund sense of longin' and loneliness."

"It feels strange to be fighting alongside demonic clowns, but I guest war makes strange bedfellows. Ugh, please ignor…"

"No good can come of criminals with access to hat-making machinery."

"So. You read splash text."

"Ceci n'est pas une title screen!"