"A mounted fish? What whoppers that guy tells! Did you ever see a mounted fish? Did you ever see a fish on a horse?"

"A guy in a white coat is coming for him and I don't mean the Good Humor man."

"It's no use crying over spilled milk. It's the nickel back for the bottle that I care about."

"BUD ABBOTT LOU COSTELLO in the CHOKE of the Century!"

"Bud Abbott — Ted Higgins"

"Joseph Calleia — Nick Craig"

"Leon Errol — Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride"

"I hope you die! I hope you die soon! I'll be waiting for you to die!"

"I was lonely when I was young. Not in the way people usually mean. I was lonely for all the things I wasn't gonna get."

"Maybe it's easy for the dying to be honest. I'm sick of you, sick of this house, sick of my unhappy life with you. I'…"