Whose Life Is It Anyway? (1981 film)

"Some nurses and I went out for a little midnight skateboarding last night. The only trouble was that I was the skateboard."

"How does a quadriplegic cross the road? He was stapled to a chicken."

"Hello, I was just practicing lying here."

"I better be nice to this woman. Otherwise, the good doctor will dissolve her in water and inject her into me."

"I admit that it's embarrassing for a man to compliment a woman on her breasts when only one of them is in bed. One of the people, that is. Not one of the breasts."