I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

"Gentlemen, I have a very simple policy. What you shove up your ass is your own business."

"Whenever, whatever. That's the code."

"[When Chuck says he and Larry have always been together, in reference to their shifts in the fire department] So were my balls. Now I only have one of them."

"If these two men are gay then I'm a one-legged parrot. Anybody see me with a crutch and a cracker?"

"And most importantly, they showed us that no matter whom we choose to love, be they heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, trisexual, quadrisexual, pansexual, transexual, omnisexual or that thing where the chick ties the belt around your neck and tinkles on a ballon, it has absolutely nothing to do with who we are as people."

"They're as straight as can be, but don't tell anyone."

"How far would you go for a friend?"

"Chuck has just found the perfect girl. Too bad he's agreed to marry his best friend."

"Adam Sandler as Charles Todd "Chuck" Levine, Larry’s husband and Eric & Tori’s stepfather"

"Kevin James as Lawrence Arthur "Larry" Valentine, Chuck’s husband and Eric & Tori’s father"

"Jessica Biel as Alex McDonough"

"Ving Rhames as Fred G. Duncan, Kevin’s husband"

"Nick Swardson as Kevin McDonough, Alex’s brother and Fred’s husband"

"Steve Buscemi as Clinton Fitzer"

"Dan Aykroyd as Captain Phineas J. Tucker"

"Nicholas Turturro as Renaldo Pinera"

"Richard Chamberlain as Councilman Banks"

"Mary Pat Gleason as Teresa"

"Rachel Dratch as Sara Powers"

"Matt Winston as Glen Aldrich"

"Peter Dante as Tony Paroni"

"Cole Morgen as Eric Valentine, Larry’s son and Chuck’s stepson"

"Shelby Adamowsky as Tori Valentine, Larry’s daughter and Chuck’s stepdaughter"

"Allen Covert as Steve"

"Lance Bass as Bandleader"

"Dave Matthews as Salesman"

"Blake Clark as Crazy Homeless Man"

"Dan Patrick as New York Cop"

"Tila Tequila as Hooters Girl"

"Jamie Chung as Hooters Girl"

"Dennis Dugan as Cab Driver"

"Rob Corddry as Jim the Protestor"

"Jonathan Loughran as David Nootzie"

"Becky and Jessie O'Donohue as Donna and Darla"

"David Spade as Transvestite Groupie (uncredited)"

"Rob Schneider as Asian Minister (uncredited)"

"Arne Starr as Court Supporter (uncredited)"

"Jim Ford as Criminal Stuck in chimney (uncredited)"