Day of the Tentacle

"I feel like I could... like I could... like I could... TAKE ON THE WORLD!!"

"The Diminuator will be my crowning success! With it I will be able to shrink the entire human race out of sight! BWAHAHAHAHA!!"

"Soon we'll all be speaking... Well, English I guess."

"Get me out of here! I feel like I'm pupating!"

"(After his Chron-O-John's first attempt) Cheap-Mail-Ordered Jewel! I'd knew I should've bought a real diamond."

"Step one. Find plans. Step two. Save world. Step three. Get out of my house! Let's get cracking."

"(Answering Bernard's question about whether it is too late to turn off the toxic waste machine) Of course! That's why I'll have to do it...yesterday! To the time machine!"

"He's long gone!"

"We may not live to see yesterday..."

"Bernard, float over here so I can punch you."

"Great, I'm stuck in colonial times, tentacles are taking over the world, and now the toilet's backing up."

"Whoah, You're, like, George Washington!!"

"Mr. President? May I offer you an excellent smoke?"

"{referring to a hamster at the door} I think we could bite its head off or whatever."

"{responding to Betsy Ross} Hey chill! Take your time."

""Well, you know what they say: "If you want to save the world, you gotta push a few old ladies down the stairs"."

"(Bernard is talking to Dead Cousin Ted, a mummy) "Boy, I haven't seen you since I was here five years ago. You know, I bet you'd really like my friend Hoagie. He's a roadie for a heavy metal band. You could hit him over the head with a bowling ball and it wouldn't faze him. He can pass out standing up and not drop anything". (pause) "The two of you have a lot in common"."

"(Still talking to Dead Cousin Ted) "Boy, I wish I had as little on my mind as you do. No offense intended, of course"."

"(Talking to Dr. Fred), "How about catching Purple Tentacle?""

""This must be that Woodstock place Mom and Dad always talk about"."

""Gosh, I hope this isn't like the primitive, dangerous microwave ovens of my century. Those things could really pop a hamster good"."