Larry McMurtry

"A woman's love is like the morning dew. It's just as likely to settle on a horse turd as a rose."

"It's really quite simple. Mr. Isinglass robbed my father, destroyed my mother, exiled my brothers, and ruined me. If I catch him asleep I'll kill him. I do hope you like this pudding. I had to ride quite a way to find the plums."

"We choose our lovers for their flaws, you know," Mel said. "People would be bored shitless if they had to love only the good in someone they care about."

""Pat, did they get you for the embezzling?" Harmony asked."