Californication (TV series)

"Hank Moody: He used to call you a walking penis!"

"Hank Moody (after being punched): Ow! Your pimp hand is strong!"

"Trixy: No! Not in the face. He's too cute."

"Al Moody: "Your mother was into all of that catholic guilt shit, not me. Life's too short to dance with fat chicks.""

"Charlie Runkle: "I love the condom, keeps me in the game...""

"Hank Moody: "All my fucking life, people have been telling me I do things wrong. I’m always the fucking asshole. I look around and I see everybody else is infinitely more fucked up than I am.""