"Susan McPhail as Diner Waitress"

"Jake Roberts as Sam (as Jake 'The Snake' Roberts)"

"Tyler, I am going to give you all of my wishes for my birthday."

"Maybe we could be friends and buddies... bro dogs... and chill. Have a good time!"

"[To a stranger] Hey, do you want to come to my birthday party?"

"You might not be saying the word 'retard', alright, I'll give you that, but you're damn sure are making him feel reta…"

"[Zak is inserting a VHS tape] I don't know. I'd love to have a nickel for every goddamn time we had to watch this tap…"

"Friends are the family you choose."

"There are sheep in this world and there are wolves in this world. And I know that you two boys are just two weary tra…"

"Wayne Dehart as Blind Jasper John"