"I can't believe this. I go into the hospital for a lousy ulcer operation. I lay around in a Birds-Eye wrapper for 200…"

"I haven't seen my analyst in 200 years. He was a strict Freudian. If I'd been going all this time, I'd probably almos…"

"I just beat a man senseless with a large strawberry!"

"Do I believe in God? I'm what you would call a teleological, existential atheist. I believe that there's an intellige…"

"Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they…"

"I am a renowned poet. I sell 20 to 30 poems a week, plus greeting cards."

"A love story about two people who hate each other. 200 years in the future."

"Woody Allen - Miles Monroe"

"Diane Keaton - Luna Schlosser"

"My brain? It's my second favorite organ!"