"Life doesn't have to be ugly. Look at the birds out there; listen to their call. [makes bird noises] Hwee, hwee, hwee…"

"[after murdering someone] I don't know what it is about today but I feel great!"

"Are those... pussy willows?"

"[after bludgeoning Mrs. Jenson] Rewind!"

"Suzanne Sommers! This is my bad side!"

"Eugene Sutphin: [during sex with Beverly] Oh honey, you are hot tonight!"

"Chip Sutphin: [in response to Misty telling the family about her new love interest] You sure can pick 'em."

"Misty Sutphin: Chip! Our mother is Charles Manson!"

"Ralph Sterner: [while having teeth drilled] Help me Betty! He's worse than the dentist in the Marathon Man!"

"Officer, I'm sorry, but we don't allow gum in this house."