"There's a special word for bosses who care about their employees: unemployed. The whole point of being a boss is to g…"

"It's illegal to kill yourself in a quick and painless way, but if you do it slowly over a few decades -- say by not e…"

"Express gratitude. Give more than is expected. Speak optimistically. Touch people. Remember names. Don't confuse flex…"

"Much of politics is about hating imaginary people."

"I thought it was true until I saw it in the news."

"The only people who serve on juries are people who have nothing better to do. Many of those people have jobs, which m…"

"[P]olitics is about winning the definitions of words."

"People who have children have the best work-avoidance excuses in the world. If you don't have kids, get some immediat…"

"If Biden is elected, there's a good chance you will be dead within the year. Republicans will be hunted. Police will …"

"The only person who wants real fairness is whoever has the worst life on earth, because he has nothing of his own to …"