"Goldo Golderson. Now there's a name that's just asking for trouble. Goldie Goldigger was his mother. She always favou…"

"I have seen evil masters come and go: Exploded, disintegrated, immolated... Even one time eaten by a giant weasel!"

"You can now control 15 minnions. 15! That's twice the braincells in the average sheep."

"If that plague leaves Heaven's Peak, then things are going to get very disorganised. And I hate that."

"Go on, be off with you. I want to see some proper evil being done out there."

"Some young harlot, I imagine, with full breasts and an empty head."

"Well that's just typical of her! Er, of her type, I mean, Sire. A silly little wench, too daft enough to know what sh…"

"I've never seen the point of slugs. They seem to exist merely to be squashed."

"[About Jewel] She's barely left the crib. That young lady needs a smacked bottom."

"Now dwarves, Sire, dwarves are like angry beards on legs. Angry beer-soaked beards on legs!"