"I wanted to ring everyone and tell them I was number one but then I realised I didn’t have any friends."

"My daughter just delights in telling me that Ed Sheeran beats me all the time. She just keeps saying that if I was as…"

"I’m not pretending the past was any good — I'm just saying the present is worse."

"God definitely created humans as the dregs, we have all the greed and the despicable acts. Humanity, worldwide, is no…"

"I often fantasise about going into the jungle. I’d like to go in there and be as miserable as possible and refuse to …"

"Throughout the first year of the band I was only drinking Babycham; it’s so un-rock & roll! Then, as we were driving …"

"A journalist in one of the Sunday papers called us ‘little trolls’, because we’re Welsh. Well, I’m 6ft 3in and I’m th…"

"I could never write something like (Radiohead's) 'I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo'. I'd write something like 'I’m a cricket…"

"The internet is the grandest illusion ever created. It makes people think they’re popular, they have loads of friends…"

"One of the biggest corporate lies in history, up there with selling terrible mortgages."