"Jo Ann Pflug as Lieutenant Maria "Dish" Schneider"

"Bobby Troup as Staff Sergeant Gorman"

"Marvin Miller as PA Announcer"

"[to Major Margaret Houlihan] Oh, come off it, Major! You put me right off my fresh fried lobster, do you realize that…"

"Baby we're gonna see some stitching like you never saw before."

"[Trying to convince Lt. Dish to sleep with Painless.] You have the rare privilege that happens on certain occasions t…"

"Let's give him a sexy scar, huh? Fantastic."

"Who am I? I am the pro from Dover, and this [Indicates Trapper John] is my favorite caddy."

"It's a good thing you have a nice body, nurse, otherwise they'd get rid of you quick."

"Frank, were you on this religious kick at home, or did you crack up over here?"