"Nelson Mandela? What a cunt. Terry Waite? Bastard. I dunno, you lend some people a fiver, you never see them again."

"Hello moose-fuckers! You know what I hate about this country? Half of you speak French and the other half let them."

"How do you give a woman an orgasm? Who cares!"

"My mother thinks I'm at Kings cross right now buying drugs off a prostitute. If she knew I was on the BBC, she'd kill…"

"My idea of Comic Relief is switching Victoria Wood off."

"I'm actually a bisexual necrophiliac - I'll shag anything that doesn't move."

"I used to think I was great in bed until I discovered that all my girlfriends suffered from asthma."

"Sadowitz is a very different act from Gervais and Carr: low status, stubbornly niche, the connoisseur's misanthrope. …"

"Comin' in on a wing and a pray'r Comin' in on a wing and a pray'r Tho' there's one motor gone, We can still carry on,…"

"… Hassan promotes the BITE model as a scientific method for identifying “destructive cults,” claiming it can distingu…"