"Don't we all wanna be somebody different sometimes? Someone smarter and sexier and bolder than we really are?"

"My mom once told me that if you ever want to make a man happy... flatter his vanity. Tell him he's handsome. She said…"

"[explaining a dream she had with Thurston] I knew then that our love was not some idealized state, but a union of sec…"

"[in a car, about to have sex with Thurston] Thurston, there is a seatbelt stabbing into my ovaries. I think it might …"

"I know you probably think I'm a manipulative bitch for sleeping with two guys, but try looking at it this way: the se…"

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. But those people are looking at lif…"

"Kat Dennings – Caroline Wexler"

"Reece Thompson – Thurston Goldberg"

"Andie MacDowell – Enid Goldberg"

"Josh Lucas – Barry Anderson"