"Nothing—believe me—nothing is more satisfying to me personally than getting a great idea and then beatin' it to death."

"We're told that they were zealots fueled by religious fervour…religious fervour and if you live to be a thousand year…"

"What is this, Vassar?!"

"In My Pants!"

"I may not be smart enough to debate you point-for-point on this, but I have the feeling about 60% of what you say is …"

"Now all of us can talk to the NSA—just by dialing any number."

"Nice job…what the hell is U2 supposed to play?"

"How long have you been a black man?"

"Mia Hamm: So we walk in to the sorority house and they're (their families and friends) just ripped. I mean they're go…"

"David Letterman: Earlier today, the man who owns this network, Leslie Moonves—he and I have had a relationship for ye…"