"Jessica, you make me feel like being a better person and I'm not a better person. I'm me."

"Martin, I'm not physically attracted to other people, but if you want me, I'm yours."

"Hugh Grant as Martin "Tweedy" Tweed"

"Dennis Quaid as President Joseph Staton"

"Willem Dafoe as Chief of Staff"

"Mandy Moore as Sally Kendoo"

"Chris Klein as William Williams"

"Jennifer Coolidge as Martha Kendoo"

"Sam Golzari as Omer Obeidi"

"Seth Meyers as Chet Krogl"