"Why are you guys so anti-dictators? Imagine if America was a dictatorship. You could let 1% of the people have all the nation's wealth. You could help your rich friends get richer by cutting their taxes. And bailing them out when they gamble and lose. You could ignore the needs of the poor for health care and education. Your media would appear free, but would secretly be controlled by one person and his family. You could wiretap phones. You could torture foreign prisoners. You could have rigged elections. You could lie about why you go to war. You could fill your prisons with one particular racial group, and no one would complain. You could use the media to scare the people into supporting policies that are against their interests."

"Ben Kingsley — Tamir Aladeen, Aladeen's uncle"

"John C. Reilly (uncredited) — Clayton"

"Jason Mantzoukas — "Nuclear" Nadal"

"Edward Norton (uncredited) — himself"

"Oh it's a girl. I'm so sorry. Where's the trashcan?"

"[to his pregnant wife] Are you having a boy or an abortion?"

"Megan Fox — herself"

"Anna Faris — Zoey"

"Luis Alberni — Native booth proprietor"

"Ernest Whitman — Whiteface"

"Noble Johnson — Chief"

"Robert Middlemass — Police inspector"

"Joan Marsh — Dimples, helper in Human Cannonball act"

"Iris Adrian — French soubrette in café"

"Eric Blore — Charles Kimble"

"Lionel Royce — Monsieur Lebec"

"Bob Hope — Hubert 'Fearless' Frazier"

"Dorothy Lamour — Donna LaTour"

"Charles Gemora — Gorilla"

"Bing Crosby — Chuck Reardon"

"Una Merkel — Julia Quimby"

"Buck Woods as Thonga"

"Douglass Dumbrille — Slave trader"

"[Cannibal burps] Must've been someone he ate."

"Leigh Whipper — Scarface"

"[During the sawing-in-half act] If this doesn't work, one of us is going home half-fare."

"Wilson Benge — Professor"