Karl Lagerfeld

"There is no marriage, yet, for human beings and animals… I never thought that I would fall in love like this with a cat."

"That was his thing. He only ever wore black and white. Misogyny was also his thing, but they don’t want to talk about that."

"Yet, for all his much-vaunted preservation of his privacy, he has always been noticeably willing to wile away an afternoon or so with journalists, spilling out well-honed anecdotes about himself - but these, of course, help maintain the mask. There is a particular story of which he seems especially fond, having trotted it out virtually word for word in almost every interview he has given during his 40-year career: "When I was a child in Germany," he merrily begins, "my parents gave me six bicycles - six bicycles, because I was a very spoilt child, hein? - and none of the other children had any because it was after the war, you know? But I wouldn't share, no, no, no. But I would instead come to school every day on a different bicycle and the other children would be very jealous." Even the various assistants, administrators and acolytes who flutter around him are so well trained in the importance of this anecdote that I am told it within minutes of my arrival, before they nervously usher me in to meet the man himself: "You know, when Karl was young, his parents gave him six bicycles ...""

"Fantasy is often better than reality [...] It’s much more inspiring not to go to places than to go."

"Ich kann mich, Gott sei Dank, […] über mich selbst lustig machen. Was mich natürlich nicht daran hindert, mich auch über andere lustig zu machen."

"Die Knackwürstchenfotografie liegt mir nicht. Bei meiner Arbeit handelt es sich um eine etwas poetischere Version der Wirklichkeit. Ich bin kein Urologe."

"Leider kann ich keine Sprache anständig sprechen, deshalb mixe ich alles von überall zusammen. Ich habe ja im Grunde nie etwas gelernt. Ich habe nicht einmal Abitur gemacht und nix."

"Es tut mir leid: Was ich sage, ist nur gültig, wenn ich es gerade sage."

"Solange wir Fleisch essen, können wir uns nicht über Pelze beschweren."

"Sexualität ist heute nur noch eine Sportart."

""Ich kann gar nichts bereuen, weil ich mich niemals daran erinnere, was ich mir einmal gewünscht habe. Ich bin wie eine Schultafel"

"Ich hasse das Wort billig. Menschen sind billig, Bekleidung ist dagegen teuer oder preiswert."

"Wer eine Jogginghose trägt, hat die Kontrolle über sein Leben verloren."

"Wenn mich Deutsche ansprechen, um mir zu erzählen, dass sie auch Deutsche sind, sage ich immer: Da gibt's 80 Millionen von."

"Man muss das Geld zum Fenster rauswerfen, damit es zur Tür wieder reinkommt."