Ghost Hunters

"I keep hearing like a small gasp...(elapsed time)...it's you, you stupid cat; your nose whistles! Get out of here!!"

"What the frig?"

"What the fetch?"

"Well I know one thing: Tom loves Jen. (Commenting on graffiti)"

"You wanna play hide and seek? It's a great place to play."

"It's like he's a brother. ...it's almost like he's a wife. (laughs)"

"When in doubt, get the hell out."

"Do we gotta ask a one-winged fairy directions too, or what?"

"And Grant got viciously attacked by a snare drum."

"Oh. Yeah, I like it. (About a red feathered boa)"

"I'm a friend, I'm not gonna harm anyone...please don't harm me..."

"I'm not going over there man, it's right next to your butt."

"(In an inn that used to be a brothel) Do we have any blondes in here? How 'bout redheads? We got any redheads?"

"No one wants to play with poor old Dave Tango..."

"Yeah, a French guy eats bicycles for a living. He said he likes the oily parts best."

"I learned stuff, that doesn't mean I retained it all."

"You touch weird things man... you touch like, weird, weird things, like weird objects and like things on the wall that you shouldn't be touching..."

"You're gonna hurt yourself some day, man. He touches things that should not be touched."

"I drop these all the time. They're a tank."

"I found a tiara in one of the rooms in the house, and I thought it'd be kind of funny to have Dave Tango wear it, but the funny part is that he thought it was a head lamp, and he kept wearing it as a head lamp. He even tried to turn it on, but couldn't find the button."

"We got a long time to go, so, uh, I hope we don't get hemorrhoids. ...We sit here for ten hours straight, it's Hemorrhoid City, man."

"We just inhaled someone's poo smell right out of the fucking tube..."

"(To Tango) Who knows with you? You're weird. You're from Jersey. You people do weird things."

"I do have a guest bedroom, but it's being occupied...by my cat."

"(in mock-British accent) Tango, m'boy, fetch me some orange juice, my good friend."

"(Playing with a giant nutcracker) Hello, fine sir... bring me your women and your finest buffet!"

"I'm not gonna put it in my mouth, I don't want lead poisoning, I don't want the gout or whatever it is you get..."

"DUDE, RUN!"

"Is there anybody that would like to play with us tonight? ...That sounded all kinds of wrong."

"You're always in another country, Tango. (Dustin Pari)"

"I'm perfectly fine with staying here all night, and making you completely INSANE. Just do something and we'll leave. Something big. None of this little... stupid crap. (Kris Williams)"